Have you watched the episode of Sex in the City where Mr Big leaves town to move to California? I realise I am dating myself here, so for those of you haven't, or can't remember...
Carrie and Big aren’t currently an item but spend a fairytale final night on the town, cut short at a pivotal point by Miranda going into labour. Carrie rushes to his flat the next day, straight from the hospital, to find it empty. She is too late. There is just a return air ticket to California, and the vinyl copy of Moon River that they danced to in the empty apartment the day before, propped up against a wall. As she walks home, bereft, a single leaf falls into her path. There’s a chill in the air, a whole season has passed. The summer has gone, taking Mr Big with it. Autumn in New York will pass without him. This episode has always had many resonances for me. We danced to Moon River at our wedding. It was one of my husband’s favourite songs (either sung by Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany’s or by Frank Sinatra). That episode of Sex and the City*, and the song, now have an extra poignancy. My husband died on the first of April 2017. At noon on April Fool’s day, only it wasn’t a joke. A whole season has passed without him. Nights are drawing in, I feel a chill. It’s Autumn in another big city. I think it will be a long time before I can watch that episode again, but I do feel ready to reflect, in the hope that it might help the sadly inevitable travellers who will follow me on the journey. We will all walk our own path, but sometimes it helps to stop for a minute, look back, and then hopefully look forward and carry on. *Season 4, episode 66: I Heart NY http://www.hbo.com/sex-and-the-city/episodes/4/66-i-heart-ny/index.html
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